Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.

Before My Son Was Born, I Felt Sorry for Special Needs Parents

I used to be that mom. The mom who pitied those special needs parents.

I would be in the grocery store and I would see the child with special needs yelling out or rocking themselves, I would smile politely and then turn away feeling bad for that mom.

I would be at a restaurant and see parents wheeling their disabled or special needs child to the table and think, I am so lucky to have “normal” children.

I felt sorry for the moms who had a child with special needs.

Yes, I admit it, I pitied them.

That is probably why, last December when my son was born with an extra chromosome, the thing I abhorred the most was the thought that someone would pity me.

That feeling I had for those other moms is something I now see as total ignorance.  You see, the reason I felt sorry for those “other” moms was because I viewed being the parent of a special needs child as being a burden.  I thought it was something that no one would want, if they were able to choose.

I thought that somehow those moms were being cheated out of parenting a normal child.  I thought that they must wish every day that their child was normal.

Those were all things that I actually thought, before I too became the mom of a special needs child.

I don’t feel sorry for myself.  I don’t want anyone to pity me.  I would still want my son a million times over if I had to choose.

I was so ignorant.

Related Post: How Does it Feel to Find Out Your Baby has Down Syndrome?

Here’s why:

Back when I saw those “other” moms, what I didn’t realize is that most of them wouldn’t change their experience for the world.  I don’t mean to say that if their child couldn’t walk, they wouldn’t give them the ability to do so.  Or, if their child was locked inside their own mind they wouldn’t give anything to let them out, or get in there with them.  What I mean is that most wouldn’t change some of the amazing things about being the parent of a special needs child.

You see, there are things, as the mom of a typical child that you just don’t understand. I know I didn’t.

When you are the parent of a typical child, you know nothing of the “secret club.”  You don’t understand the intense draw to another parent or the total and complete camaraderie that exists just out of your reach.  The club of new moms has nothing on the club of parents who have children with special needs.  It transcends age, race, socioeconomic status, and gender.

Parenting a child with special needs is what allows you to see another parent across a crowded store and instantly note that her child also has Down Syndrome and you cannot wait to make eye contact or say, hello.  It is what allows you to strike up an instant friendship online simply because you and someone else have children who both share extra chromosomes.  It is what makes you desire to advocate not only for your own child, but for so many others, all because you have something in common.

Having a child with special needs gives you the words to say to another parent, new on this journey, when no one else’s words have any effect.  It allows you to form bonds that are so strong that your best friend of 20 years cannot compare.  It allows you to feel empathy on a level you hadn’t even realized before becoming the parent of a child with special needs.

I no longer see a parent out in public and pity them for being a special needs parent, because I am too.

I now know that they don’t need pity because they have more love, empathy, understanding and finesse than most other parents combined.  I see them and I know that no matter what their child’s disability, they probably have something they can teach me, and I can teach them too.  We may not have anything else in common aside from having children with special needs, but that is more than enough.

I used to be that mom, but now I understand that when I was busy pitying them, it was really me who needed to be pitied, I just didn’t understand.

Have You Seen These Designs?

Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.

Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.

Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.

Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.

Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.

 

Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.

Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.

Special Needs Parents; I felt sorry for them before my son was born

Before My Son Was Born, I Felt Sorry for Special Needs Parents I used to be that mom. The mom ...
Read More

Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.

“I’m So Proud” A Word about our Children with Down Syndrome

Our children who come out made by designer hands and rockin’ designer genes take us on a tour of the ...
Read More

Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.

How One Couple Became Stronger After a Down Syndrome Diagnosis

This post has been simmering in my mind for months now, I wanted to share that what can wreck a ...
Read More

Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.

My Baby Has Down Syndrome: Now What?

My baby has Down Syndrome, Now what? This is actually a phrase that I used in Google when I learned ...
Read More

Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.

5 Lies About Down Syndrome

When I heard those words, Down Syndrome, referring to my own newborn son, I reached back into my memory and ...
Read More

Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.

Down Syndrome- What I Would Have Told Myself in the Beginning

Down Syndrome- what I would have told myself in the beginning if I had only had the words.  I was broken ...
Read More

Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.

The day I talked about my son’s Down Syndrome diagnosis without crying

I wondered, in the beginning, if I would ever experience this day, The day I would be able to talk ...
Read More

Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.

Sharing My Son with Down Syndrome

Why I choose to Publicly Share My son who has Down's Syndrome When we found out about our son Cedar’s ...
Read More

Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.

I Am Thankful For Down Syndrome

This is the time of year where we think about all of our blessings and those things that we are ...
Read More

The post Special Needs Parents; I felt sorry for them before my son was born appeared first on Cedars Story.